Having a child teaches us about miracles. Love is something I did not understand fully until I met my son, Sterling. This selfless love for another being has been the most rewarding thing I have experienced in my life thus far.
I am living and breathing more deeply than I ever have. Life has changed immensely, it is suddenly is not my own. Here I am, back to innocence and hope.
The truth is, we have much to learn from children. They are spirit in the purest form. They live with a belief and an innocence that can’t be harnessed, diminished or replicated. They live in the moment and are fully present until we teach them otherwise.
The beauty lies in truly realizing the ending of one era, and the beginning of another, internally. It is the most fascinating thing to watch a mini human being that you somehow, subconsciously created, blossom from a tiny, microscopic seed, into his or her true self.
I no longer have some of the things I found important (time, money, the ability to be selfish in every moment),but life itself has taken on a much richer context. It has been rewarding because it is tough.
In my mind, my childhood dances. Here, I find understanding, peace, healing…and even empathy for those that cared for me as a small child. There are grains of understanding that I would never otherwise have without being a parent.
Do you recall the child you once were and the people who were most influential to you as a small being? It amazes me what children can do and become with the right encouragement.
Sleep is a commodity I rarely have the pleasure of indulging in. Food and alcohol used to be a quiet source of comfort for me. However, food is now fuel and alcohol is a guilty pleasure on occasion. No longer is my life filled with artificial gratification. I feel truly, and spiritually evolved in many ways thanks to Sterling.
I feel alive. I feel present. And I feel so thankful for the wonderful, joyous, and sacred experience of being a mother, for it has taught me more than I ever dreamt.
“There are so many ways to be brave in this world. Sometimes bravery involves laying down your life for something bigger than yourself, or for someone else. Sometimes it involves giving up everything you have ever known, or everyone you have ever loved, for the sake of something greater.
But sometimes it doesn’t.
Sometimes it is nothing more than gritting your teeth through pain, and the work of every day, the slow walk toward a better life.
That is the sort of bravery I must have now.”
― Veronica Roth, Allegiant